So first up in getting my diagnosisesesesesises yes tmrw (writing this at 23:00) and im also turning 16 in 6 months and IM NOT FUKIN READYYY

anyways i am failing school aswell

So, last month i was suppost to get an internship but my idiot bitchass didnt really know how to and so i didnt have one. Also, i absolutely fucking suck at school (or atleast my dad (hate him) tells me, he tells me load of negative shit about myself and he makes me want to nene myself iykwim). Also i have to get checked if i have ad(h)d but that doesnt really matter. Next up, i am allready suppost to have a job, at 15, THIS SHIT FUCKING SUCKS!

i fucking LOVE half life (THE ORIGINAL ONE is the only 1 i have played so far (abt like 6 hours)) AND i am FUCKING BRAINROTTED with it!!!

also I HAVE 31 HOURS ON GMOD AND I FUCKING LOVE GMOD I LOVE IT except i have only ever played single player bcuz every time i play with 1 of my friends it doesnt rlly work and ion trust the servers rlly...

also should i save up for half life 2 or should i save up more so i can buy ep1 and ep2 with it??

so recently one of my friends blocked me (prolly for saying that i dont like yaoi what the frick!!!!!!!) but i got over it.

anyways recently the internet has been getting more and more boring. i dont really have online friends other than on discord and roblox, i keep thinking about rejoining a website i left like last year, where i met a lot of friends but i also dont want to because i also was kind of addicted to it one point, i wanted attention, but i also never really got attention other than if i threatened suicide (wtf)

or made a new acc after my old one got deleted. i even cried sometimes because i never got attention, but also the site was full of weirdos, and it was hard to quit. now, i do not know what to do, i also need to get my fucking life together

also my parents and psychologist think i got adhd

So like im sick rn and im suffering, stuffy nose, pain, allat and like i usualy have pains because i have a little disease called fabrys disease and like the combined pain fucking sucks and i panic because i think im gonna die but luckily meds exist

I was suppost to go to the psychologist 2day but my parents had to cancel the appointment because i was asleep (I wasnt) MUHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEGHEHEHEHEHEEHEHEHEhEHEhEHEEHeheheheHEHEHEHEhe

the appointment probably got delayed but i dont have to like sit there for like 30394543875878269360872784175686ß8ß84886749723456885746287876437861862874178455871514&&/%§/&R&/"§&/( hours

Like do you really need to have to be horny while playing a game about a 5 year old coping with religious trauma? Do you really need to jerk it to big boobie beast?

AND I WANT A TUTORIAL ON HOW TO DRAW GRAFFITI LIKE THAT‼️

the world may be shit but it isnt as bad i mean im still baffaled on how i managed to get a boyfriend

The fact that at any given moment, one of these grown babies in charge of the world could just end us all is disturbing. Im so scared that at any point we could just die slow painful deaths because of nukes (either from the explosion or the radiation)

so uhm yeah thats where my state of mind is at right now, especialy after the us election.